And today, I am starting over-
because I don't know who i am,
But I had them all fooled, for sure.
As I walk, head held high towards the sky-
more confident than life.
Truthfully, I don't even know where I am.
My heart, so many places-
yet it feels like nothing at all.
My head hurts as it races-
I just can't catch a thought.
And to be so certain about something so confuzed-
I understand all of your frustration.
I am the one you just cannot touch,
at least my heart...it's beyond everyone's reach.
And deeply, somewhere I care...
so much that it almost sickens me.
About you, about them, the world-
I care, but I don't know how to tell you.
And the mystery of an unknown man-
it intrigues,enamours,almost obsesses me.
Only to catch his eye-
to allow him to see my truth.
But alas, that man is many a mystery-
and too few- I allow in my world.
His complexity, his disinterest in me-
it consumes me, I want to be him.
Don't be vain, 'he' isn't you,
he is many that will never know.
It is only those who don't know I exist-
they are with whom I am consumed.
Beautiful stangers, all of them-
just another handsome passerby.
And only if they ignore me-
will they be able to catch my eye.
And to those enamoured by me-
it is you that I will not allow around.
You are my weakness, a temptation-
too easy to make you mine.
And though I'd love to love you,
I am what I am- and love is buried so deeply-
It is your pain that I spare.
I am consumed by what is nothing-
because nothing is what I feel.
and even what I thought I loved-
I convinced myself it wasn't real.
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