Thursday, December 24, 2009

Truth in Strangers

And today, I am starting over-

because I don't know who i am,

But I had them all fooled, for sure.

As I walk, head held high towards the sky-

more confident than life.

Truthfully, I don't even know where I am.

My heart, so many places-

yet it feels like nothing at all.

My head hurts as it races-

I just can't catch a thought.

And to be so certain about something so confuzed-

I understand all of your frustration.

I am the one you just cannot touch,

at least my heart...it's beyond everyone's reach.

And deeply, somewhere I care...

so much that it almost sickens me.

About you, about them, the world-

I care, but I don't know how to tell you.

And the mystery of an unknown man-

it intrigues,enamours,almost obsesses me.

Only to catch his eye-

to allow him to see my truth.

But alas, that man is many a mystery-

and too few- I allow in my world.

His complexity, his disinterest in me-

it consumes me, I want to be him.

Don't be vain, 'he' isn't you,

he is many that will never know.

It is only those who don't know I exist-

they are with whom I am consumed.

Beautiful stangers, all of them-

just another handsome passerby.

And only if they ignore me-

will they be able to catch my eye.

And to those enamoured by me-

it is you that I will not allow around.

You are my weakness, a temptation-

too easy to make you mine.

And though I'd love to love you,

I am what I am- and love is buried so deeply-

It is your pain that I spare.

I am consumed by what is nothing-

because nothing is what I feel.

and even what I thought I loved-

I convinced myself it wasn't real.

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