Mom

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

i became that mom today... Today, my friends, was my oldest little angels first day of school...and i became that mom. You know the one that i speak of...the blubbering mess of tears that you look at and think...what a schmuck. Oh yea, that was me...lol. I didnt let her see me cry, because she was having a tough enough time...but as soon as i walked out that kindergarten room and left my baby sitting old school indian style on the floor..i freakin lost it. My baby, my sweet little girl...who i swear was just in diapers and saying mama and dada for the first time...is growing up. Too fast if you ask me. I know that she has to do this...and so will Lyze...but i dont have to like it. I looked in her big brown eyes and saw the same little baby that used to depend on me for her every need...and now...she is a big girl...with her pretty new first day of school dress, and her new high school musical backpack....eager to meet new people, learn new things, and become independant. She is ready, but I'm not. I just want them to stay little forever...and they cant. So far, this is the hardest thing i have ever had to deal with as a mom, and yes...i know it will only get worse. I digress, i am allowing myself tears right now...as i type even. I used to look at mothers, before i had kids, and think to myself...gheeze you crazy mom..pull yourself together- they are kids dude, they grow up...thats what they do. Well, payback is terrible- because today...i became that mom...streaked mascara and all. It was so bad that the principle of the school stopped me to tell me that it was going to be okay. Lol...im such a mom.