Seasons of Love

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Seasons of love... Current mood: enlightened In life...we love, and if we are lucky, we fall in love. What we do with that love is the key to our happiness. The fact of the matter is...with love, sometimes we hit and sometimes we miss. Not every endeavor can be a win, it just can't. Sometimes we hurt, sometimes we hurt others...and no one really understands why. I digress...what doesn't kill us can make us stronger...or it can make us bitter....it's all how strong of a person one is. As I grow older....i learn, sometimes the easy way- but mostly the hard way. I have learned that all the love in the world cannot make another free willed individual love you back. Do you risk it and let yourself go...or do you keep yourself veiled from what could be? Well...i have learned to be cautious...but i refuse to be bitter. When the Autumn of love comes...and everything is dying- how do you know when to let go? A particular situation that i have experienced recently has led me to this blog. A young woman...with whom i have never spoken...messages me because i am now dating her ex-bf/baby father. Normally, under these circumstances...especially in the condescending manner of which she spoke to me...I would have went off and put this young lady in her place- but i didnt. I realized that it had nothing to do with me. How do you let go when you love someone so deeply and they simply dont love you back? It sucks...I'm sure. I haven't experienced this, but i have been the one on the other side of the fence. I have been with a few men that loved me, but i just didnt love them back. It isnt because i didnt want to...or because i was being malicious- i simply didnt feel the way that they did. And, as people who are hurt often do...they lashed out and spoke ill of me and told the world what a terrible person that I was- but Im not terrible...Im just not one to fall in love easily. The thing is, i felt bad...each and every time that it has happened- but you can't make yourself fall in love...just as you can't make another love you. My heart went out to this young woman...for some reason. I can't imagine how painful it must be to love someone...with such admiration, with such desperation...that they contact a complete stranger with the sole intention to defame the name of the person with whom they are so enamored...obsessed even. I know that the man in question feels bad about all of it, he has told me. There comes a point though...where one has to recognize that if someone doesnt love you...an they stay around because they pity you- that the entire meaning of love and what it stands for is negated. When love grows cold...sometimes you just have to let go. Sometimes good things fall apart so that better things can come together. I feel so blessed that in my lifetime...one of the greatest things i have learned is the art of letting go. People have seasons in our lives...they serve their purpose....then we move on, or we don't. If someone is able to walk away from you...then let them. It obviously wasnt the right time or place for what you had with them. Dont allow the bitterness to take hold...because at that point, you begin to distance yourself from the whole notion of ever feeling love from another. Life is a recurrent series of seasons...you just have to recognize the ebb and flow of each season and how it affects your life and those that you love. I have realized in my 26 years on earth...that i am worth loving, i am worth knowing, i am a good person, and i am just as beautiful on the inside as i am on the out. I know that someone, if they havent already, will recognize the good in me and will love and respect me, the way I deserve. If not...then my mastered art of letting go will once again be utilized...no questions asked. With that being said...I know that my soul mate is lurking somewhere close to me...and when it all comes to surface- we will spend our seasons from that point, not only the good, but the bad as well... together:)