Current mood:
drained The thing about boys is that they never learn. They redundantly make mistakes until all that they have is gone. It's all about getting the one-up...who screws over whom first. When do the games end and love begin? When can someone like me give in? The thing is...I really never get hurt per say, I just lose hope each time some ridiculous boy thinks that he is irreplaceable. I think i have determined my problem...I need a man, not a boy. I need someone with whom I can find solace, refuge from the storm. A humble man, who has nothing left to prove...one that is okay with who he is. I stumble on these jumbled messes of men...and try to fix them, as I see potential. I try to help them, to make them into something that not only I can respect...but that the rest of the world can respect as well. Alas, one cannot fix what is broken unless it can be mended. One can not love the unlovable until the unlovable recognizes their own demons. One cannot help another be who they need to be, unless that person longs to be more than what they are and have more that what they have. I give...and I give...and I give, but for what? What do I gain from all this? Well, I would like to say that it will make me appreciate something real when I see it...but I don't think that is the case. I have watched many suns rise and set on my relationships...I can always see dusk when it is close. I want to be a part of something real, something tangible...but I am not willing to allow my integrity to be lapsed. I am who i am..with or without love, I will remain- broken for a bit, but whole in the end. Him? Where will he be? In a crowd, in a heap, in the background with kindred souls....he will be where all those who are like him go. I don't know where it is, because when I turn my back...I never look over my shoulder. I digress, from what I have gathered...this place is one of remorse. The thing about boys...? They never know what they have until she is so far gone that her scent is all that lingers....
No comments:
Post a Comment