Assistant needed...for free.

OMG...I feel like my guts are being pulled apart right now. Like seriously, I am overwhelmed. I don't even know where to begin. Surgery scheduled for March 19th...with that comes pre-op testing, and pre op clearances. Eight doctors appointments in less than 2 weeks...each copay being 40$. My job is really getting to me...I have been passed up for promotions on several counts and I don't know why. I am educated, I am experienced, and I have management experience. Alas, I am passed. One of the old managers told me in hind sight that it was because upper management is intimidated by me. Why??? Not sure. I need to get out of this rat race...I make excellent money- but I was not meant for drone work. Period. I need to upgrade...I need a bigger house and I can't do that without some sort of promotion. I am already paying out close to 2500$ a month in bills as it is. We have been balls to the wall busy for the past month, relentlessly. When I get off work, my back is killing me, and my feet are swollen, and my mind is a mess. My ADD and OCD are taking me to the point that I can't concentrate...which sucks. My doctor won't prescribe me anything for it...so very soon, I will be doc shopping again. I never sleep...which poses all kinds of other problems. My ex husband is back on strike for child support...which means that I will have to go back to court, again. What pisses me off is that he nonpayment isn't due to any particular reason. He proposed to his girlfriend..which i couldn't care less about...but he bought her a ring, bought a new car, and a few other things. He is nearly 3k in arrears...!!!! Fuck him. I am raising Kailey and Elyza alone. He has nothing to do with their school functions, their teachers, their extra curricular activities- nothing. Michael is more of a father to my daughters than Chad Mahatha has ever dreamed to be. I never asked him to be this...he took the role upon himself. He tells people that he has three kids...which means a lot to me. I was always very defensive about this...bc I am Miss Independent and I never wanted anyone's help. Michael kind of forced it bc he knows how stressed I get. I mean, on the daily, I am literally pulled in at least 7 directions. I enrolled in school, then freaked the fuck out bc I knew I didn't have time. I need a break...that is for damn sure. Away from EVERYONE'S drama...I need some time to myself. I can't remember the last time I had a moments peace. I am sure that I am self loathing right now...but I guess we all have our days. Sigh...I need a free assistant.

Arggg...babys dad.

So...Chad and I went back to court, again. I got my last name hyphenated...it's now Hall-Mahatha. Woohoo! Chad showed up in court wearing jeans and a tee shirt...big surprise. He is such a fucking chode. It's embarrassing for me to have my attorney look at me and say 'what were you thinking?' lol...but humorous all the same. We went through the whole schpeal...and then the judge asked him if there were anything he wanted to add. Of fucking course there was, there always is...which wouldn't be so bad if he weren't a retard. "uhh yea your honor...there is the matter of a big screen TV. She sold it without my knowledge..and I think I should get some of the money." Also "There are a few things at the house...things I left behind" (we have been split up for almost 4 fucking years...) The judge asks if he has a list...he replies no, just odds and ends. The judge rolls his eyes, and says...Do you know how hard it would be to write a court order for odds and ends??? He told him that he had no legal right to anything in this home...as he is the one who left. (Even though I made him) Then...Chad says that my attorney was wrong...that he had started paying child support December 5th, not the 11th. The judge says...ok, the court order was for October???? You couldn't manage to come up with 60? lol...So court ended in my favor. Chad has to pay 250$ in my legal fees...(which my attorney has already drawn up paperwork assuming he won't pay) and he is now behind a grand total of 2000$. On to the next day...Chad asks me if I am going to allow him to claim my daughters on taxes. I laughed...and said no. He goes off the handle and says he is going to call my mom and dad...I told him to see how that works for him, lmao. ESPECIALLY ask for my dad...he has been wanting to talk to Chad for a while. (My dad is the only person I know who has a worse temper than I....he is nuts) Then, in my 'special person talk'...I explain that he has paid a total of 110$ for 2009 in child support. I paid for clothes, medical bills, I carry their insurance which is 50$ every two weeks, and I paid for Kailey's Kindergarten which was 1200$. After all the explanation...he still is too simple to get it. He tells me he is taking me back to court...I then tell him I had already planned on it for his contempt to pay my attorney fees. I also tried to explain that so long as he is in arrears...2000$ in arrears...no judge is EVER going to grant him the award of using my kids as his ghetto paycheck. The mother fucker worked two months out of the whole year. He is just mad because he can't go out like all the other project, ghetto, broke ass rats and buy a new flat screen...or a car stereo. Uggghhh....I hate him. I need to pray about that...but sometimes, I wish he would just off himself. He contributes nothing to society except affirm racial stereotypes....fuck...do something, be some fucking body. Learn how to speak and fucking spell. He wasn't raised to be who he is...that is for sure. The Mahatha's are good people...but Chad??? He isn't worth the fucking air he wastes to stay alive.